性行为的发展

青少年期间，是女孩和男孩次级性征的发育时期。当他们的生理差别正开始显现的时候，他们的社会心理差异也逐渐强化。女孩从成人、尤其从她们的同侪那里学习怎样养成一种迷人的女性气质；然而，男孩则习得会获得其家人和朋友赞扬的“坚毅的男性气概”。合适的性别角色脚本在细节上也许从一个社会到另一个社会变化多样，但是，这些性别角色脚本都指望男女在行为方面出现分化。女性开始以与男性不同的方式着装打扮自己，使用不同的配饰物，梳理不同的发型，涂搽各种化妆品，等等；而男性通常更倾向于 “不修边幅”，会设法在身体接触的体育项目中超越对手，或在一些体能方面“验证他们的刚毅”。

可是，我们应该谨记，绝不是所有的青少年都能够或都想要服从这些期待[1]，总会有相当多的青少年不能或不愿意迎合这种规范。一些青少年在一定程度上或干脆就拒绝给他们规定的性别角色脚本。在压抑和褊狭的文化体系里，这可能会导致徒劳的对抗和其它社会心理问题。例如，尽管实际上未必就是事实，那些“假小子”和“娘娘气（即娘娘腔）小子”会面临“同性恋倾向”的指控和猜疑。毕竟，作为人类性的基本层面，性别角色和性取向是彼此分离的。然而，即使这种猜疑符合事实，也不能证明就是正当的，这是一种歧视和排斥行为。所以，在对待所有的性别角色抵触（gender role difficulty）案例时，父母、年长的亲属和老师既需要耐心也需要给予理解和宽容。最后，这些抵触性别角色的青少年必须学会悦纳自我，并且社会文化环境也必须容忍他们。

Stages of Development: Adolescence

Gender Role Behavior

During puberty, girls and boys develop their secondary sexual characteristics. As their physical differences are becoming more pronounced, their psychosocial differences are also increasingly accentuated. Girls learn from adults, and especially from their peer groups, how to cultivate an alluring femininity while boys learn to adopt a “strong” masculinity that will gain them the approval of their families and friends. The scripts for appropriate gender role behavior may vary in details from one society to another, but they all expect females and males to differ in their behavior. Females begin to dress much differently, to use different fashion accessories and different hairstyles, to apply make-up etc. while males usually prefer a more “rugged” appearance, try to excel in contact sports, or otherwise “prove their manliness” in some physical way.
One should keep in mind, however, that by no means all adolescents can or want to live up to these expectations. There are always quite a few who cannot or will not fit the norm. Some adolescents partially or totally reject the gender role scripts they are being offered. In repressive, intolerant cultures, this can lead to fruitless confrontations and other problems. For example, “tomboys” and “sissies” may be accused or suspected of “homosexual tendencies”, although, in reality, this may not be true. After all, as basic aspects of human sexuality, gender role and sexual orientation are independent of each other. However, even if the suspicions are true, they cannot justify discrimination and ostracism. In all cases of gender role difficulties, therefore, parents, older relatives, and teachers need to be both patient and supportive. In the end, the adolescents have to learn to accept themselves as they “really” are, and this acceptance has to be shared by their social environment.