变异的性行为

我们正设法描述的施虐受虐癖(sadomasochism)现在常常被简称为“S&M[有时也被人理解成“奴隶(slave)” 和“主人(master)”]。因为施虐受虐癖的本质是统治(domination)和臣服(submission)，人们也简称为“D&S”，而且它的最普通的手段是奴役(bondage)和惩罚(discipline)，人们还简称为“B&D”。但是，不管它被称作什么，其典型特征是牵涉到两个自愿参与的性伴，他们同意演出一出施虐受虐“小品”。在这样的“小品”里，施虐者通过口头责难、羞辱、肉体惩罚、捆绑以及其它可能造成身体痛苦的手段施虐役使臣服的性受虐恋者。因为性受虐恋者要求这种对待和决定惩罚的限度，事实上，性受虐恋者正在利用性施虐恋者施虐达到其性满足的目的。通过发出先前约定一致的“安全指令(safe word)”，性受虐恋者能够在任何时间终止性施虐恋者的行动。因而，与外表相反，性受虐恋者在与性施虐恋者的关系中是真正发号施令的性伴一方，他们是在这样的性偶遇中提供“快感(kick)”的有明显矛盾对立特征的人物。这也同样(能够)解释在卖淫中，客户为什么通常选择受虐和臣服的角色。他付钱给扮演施虐角色的妓女，因为她们会迎合他自己受虐的欲望。简而言之，他通过控制这种行为，实际上保持着这个过程的主人地位。进一步观察这种“小品”的心理学方面，尤其深入研究在S/M深层的亚文化现象后，我们会得到一个愈来愈复杂的画面：施虐受虐癖的性偶遇同时在数个地位等级展开：A.施虐者(“站立者”)的外表可见的地位等级，支配着受虐者(“匍匐者”)。B.随受虐者设定的限定条件的契约地位等级，因而，与外表可见的迹象相矛盾。这是真正的矛盾对立的人物地位等级，因为正处于控制的匍匐者同时被站立者所控制。简而言之，我们正讨论一种心理学上称为莫凌两可的状况。3. 程式化的地位等级。在这种地位等级，匍匐者体验真正的无权状态，而站立者，在这种相互同意的限定条件之内，体验真正的权力。两者的体验能够促进和加深信任的感情，并至少在一种非经济利益的偶遇中建立真正的性伙伴关系。

此处所有这种过于简要的概略足以解释，在S/M的亚文化里，为什么许多男女想要扮演受虐的角色，而不想扮演施虐的角色。真正的性施虐恋者是非常罕见的。毕竟，大多数人希望控制和支配他人，而性受虐恋为有控制或支配欲者恰好为实施控制和支配欲提供一种荒谬的方式。真实的情形是，偶尔，人们会转换控制或被控制的角色，但是大多数时候，个人的性偏好仍固定不变。最后，应该提及的是，施虐受虐癖少有吸引力或没有吸引力。有一些人也许尝试尝试，但是，不久就会再一次放弃，因为他们缺乏必然的心理意向。

Two Examples: 2. Sadomasochism

A Paradox of Power

The sadomasochism we are trying to describe in this course is now often simply called “S&M” (occasionally also interpreted as “slave” and “master”). Since its essence is domination and submission, one also speaks of “D&S”, and since it’s most common methods are bondage and discipline, one speaks of “B&D” as well. Whatever it is called, however, it typically involves two willing partners who have agreed to enact a sadomasochistic “scene”.
In such "scenes", sadists dominate submissive masochists by verbal denigration, humiliation, corporal punishment, tying up, and, possibly, physical pain. Since the masochists ask for this treatment and determine its limits, they are, in fact, using the sadists for their own sexual purposes. By uttering a previously agreed-upon “safe word”, masochists can stop the sadistic actions at any time. Thus, contrary to all outward appearances, they are the truly dominant partners in the relationship, a paradox that provides the "kick" in such an encounter. This also explains why, in SM-prostitution, the customer usually chooses the masochistic, submissive role. He pays the prostitute for playing a sadistic role that will cater to his own masochistic desires. In short, by controlling the action, he remains, in reality, the master of the proceedings. Looking more closely at the psychology of the “scene”, especially inside the S&M subculture, one discovers an increasingly complex picture: A sadomasochistic encounter proceeds simultaneously on several levels: 1. The outwardly visible level of the sadist ("top") seemingly dominating the masochist ("bottom"). 2. The contractual level with the masochist setting the limits, thus contradicting the visible evidence. This is the level of a true paradox, because the controlling bottom wants, at the same time, be controlled by the top. The latter, in turn, while respecting the imposed limits, wants, at the same time, to exercise unlimited control. In short, we are dealing here with a psychologically oscillating situation. 3. The ritualistic level. At this level, the bottom experiences true powerlessness and the top, within the mutually agreed limits, experiences real power. These experiences can cause and enhance deep feelings of trust and true partnership, at least in non-commercial encounters.
This all too brief sketch must suffice here to explain why, in the S&M subculture, many more women and men want to play the masochistic than the sadistic role. True sadists are very rare. After all, most people like to control and dominate, and sexual masochism offers them a paradoxical way of doing just that. It is true that, occasionally, people switch roles, but most of the time, individual sexual preferences remain fixed. Finally, it should be mentioned that, for the vast majority of people, sadomasochism has little or no appeal. Some may experiment with it, but, after a while, give it up again, because they lack the necessary disposition.