變異的性行為

我們正設法描述的施虐受虐癖（sadomasochism）現在常常被簡稱為“S&M[有時也被人理解成“奴隸（slave）”和“主人（master）”]。因為施虐受虐癖的本質是統治（domination）和臣服（submission），人們也簡稱為“D&S”，而且它的最普通的手段是奴役（bondage）和懲罰（discipline），人們還簡稱為“B&D”。但是，不管它被稱作什麼，其典型特徵是牽涉到兩個自願參與的性伴，他們同意演出一出施虐受虐“小品”。在這樣的“小品”裏，施虐者通過口頭責難、羞辱、肉體懲罰、捆綁以及其它可能造成身體痛苦的手段來役使臣服的受虐癖者。因為受虐癖者要求這種對待和決定懲罰的限度，事實上，受虐癖者正在利用施虐癖者來達到其性滿足的目的。通過發出先前約定一致的“安全指令（safe word）”，受虐癖者能夠在任何時間終止施虐癖者的行動。因而，與外表相反，受虐癖者在與施虐癖者的關係中是真正發號施令的性伴一方，他們是在這樣的性偶遇中提供“快感（kick）”的有明顯矛盾對立特徵的人物。這也同樣（能夠）解釋在賣淫中，客戶為什麼通常選擇受虐和臣服的角色。他付錢給扮演施虐角色的妓女，因為她們會迎合他自己受虐的欲望。簡而言之，他通過控制這種行為，實際上保持著這個過程的主人地位。進一步觀察這種“小品”的心理學方面，尤其深入研究在S&M深層的亞文化現象後，我們會得到一個愈來愈複雜的畫面：施虐受虐癖的性偶遇同時在數個地位等級展開：A.施虐者（“站立者”）的外表可見的地位等級，支配著受虐者（“匍匐者”）。B.隨受虐者設定的限定條件的契約地位等級，因而，與外表可見的跡象相矛盾。這是真正的矛盾對立的人物地位等級，因為正處於控制的匍匐者同時被站立者所控制。簡而言之，我們正討論一種心理學上稱為莫淩兩可的狀況。C.程式化的地位等級。在這種地位等級，匍匐者體驗真正的無權狀態，而站立者，在這種相互同意的限定條件之內，體驗真正的權力。兩者的體驗能夠促進和加深信任的感情，並至少在一種非經濟利益的偶遇中建立真正的性夥伴關係。

此處所有這種過於簡要的概略足以解釋，在S&M的亞文化裏，為什麼許多男女想要扮演受虐的角色，而不想扮演施虐的角色。真正的施虐癖者是非常罕見的。畢竟，大多數人希望控制和支配他人，而性受虐癖為有控制或支配欲者恰好實施控制和支配欲提供一種荒謬的方式。真實的情形是，偶爾，人們會轉換控制或被控制的角色，但是大多數時候，個人的性偏好仍固定不變。最後，應該提及的是，施虐受虐癖少有吸引力或沒有吸引力。有一些人也許嘗試嘗試，但是，不久就會再一次放棄，因為他們缺乏必然的心理意向。

Two Examples: 2. Sadomasochism

A Paradox of Power

The sadomasochism we are trying to describe in this course is now often simply called “S&M” (occasionally also interpreted as “slave” and “master”). Since its essence is domination and submission, one also speaks of “D&S”, and since it’s most common methods are bondage and discipline, one speaks of “B&D” as well. Whatever it is called, however, it typically involves two willing partners who have agreed to enact a sadomasochistic “scene”.
In such "scenes", sadists dominate submissive masochists by verbal denigration, humiliation, corporal punishment, tying up, and, possibly, physical pain. Since the masochists ask for this treatment and determine its limits, they are, in fact, using the sadists for their own sexual purposes. By uttering a previously agreed-upon “safe word”, masochists can stop the sadistic actions at any time. Thus, contrary to all outward appearances, they are the truly dominant partners in the relationship, a paradox that provides the "kick" in such an encounter. This also explains why, in SM-prostitution, the customer usually chooses the masochistic, submissive role. He pays the prostitute for playing a sadistic role that will cater to his own masochistic desires. In short, by controlling the action, he remains, in reality, the master of the proceedings. Looking more closely at the psychology of the “scene”, especially inside the S&M subculture, one discovers an increasingly complex picture: A sadomasochistic encounter proceeds simultaneously on several levels: 1. The outwardly visible level of the sadist ("top") seemingly dominating the masochist ("bottom"). 2. The contractual level with the masochist setting the limits, thus contradicting the visible evidence. This is the level of a true paradox, because the controlling bottom wants, at the same time, be controlled by the top. The latter, in turn, while respecting the imposed limits, wants, at the same time, to exercise unlimited control. In short, we are dealing here with a psychologically oscillating situation. 3. The ritualistic level. At this level, the bottom experiences true powerlessness and the top, within the mutually agreed limits, experiences real power. These experiences can cause and enhance deep feelings of trust and true partnership, at least in non-commercial encounters.
This all too brief sketch must suffice here to explain why, in the S&M subculture, many more women and men want to play the masochistic than the sadistic role. True sadists are very rare. After all, most people like to control and dominate, and sexual masochism offers them a paradoxical way of doing just that. It is true that, occasionally, people switch roles, but most of the time, individual sexual preferences remain fixed. Finally, it should be mentioned that, for the vast majority of people, sadomasochism has little or no appeal. Some may experiment with it, but, after a while, give it up again, because they lack the necessary disposition.