Basic Types of Sexual  Behavior

2. Heterosexual Intercourse: Genital Intercourse

Coitus

Coitus: Standing position Humorous silk scroll painting by the great Japanese artist Katushika Hokusai (1760-1849)

Techniques of Coitus 4
Unfortunately, many men and women diminish their enjoyment of coitus by an overconcern with orgasm. Since men know that they can reach orgasm relatively quickly, they may wonder whether they will last long enough to satisfy their partners. Women, on the other hand, may fear that their orgasm will not come soon enough, or that they will have no orgasm at all. Needless to say, such secret worries can seriously interfere with a couple's communication and even make normal sexual functioning impossible.
It seems that most couples would find greater sexual happiness if they concentrated more on the process of coitus itself and less on its possible outcome. There is no law that says orgasm has to be the goal of every sexual encounter. Indeed, when it comes to making love, people do themselves a disservice if they strive for any specific goal at all. It is the shared experience of physical pleasure, not its "climax" or "successful" finale that makes coitus worthwhile. Thus, for experienced lovers the artful build-up of tension is more important than its eventual release. Orgasm is simply something that happens involuntarily at the height of sexual stimulation; it is not a prize that has to be fought for and won.