Female and Male Sexual Dysfunctions -
Sexual Dysfunctions

Some Lessons Learned by Therapists

Modern sex therapists have shown, however, that many sexual dysfunctions disappear when the partners redress the imbalance in their approach and adopt a different attitude. This means, above all, that they no longer put themselves under the usual "pressure to perform".

Changing Attitudes
In therapy programs both the man and the woman are now often asked to deliberately avoid orgasm in their sexual intercourse. For example, the couple may be told to engage in extended mutual pleasuring, but to interrupt their physical contact as soon as either of them approaches orgasm. Some therapists even go so far as to prohibit their clients from reaching orgasm while at the same time ordering them to touch and caress each other for several hours every day. This simple regimen often produces dramatic results. Relieved of their "duty to perform," both partners may, for the first time in their lives, abandon themselves to sexual pleasure, and therefore they may change their whole attitude toward each other. This new attitude then becomes the source of a greatly increased orgasmic potential. Finally, after a few weeks, when the sexual response has been restored and the therapist has lifted the prohibition, orgasm becomes a regular, welcome experience, and its timing is no longer a problem. By the same token, however, this experience has now turned from an obligation into an option. Orgasm is nothing more and nothing less than a delightful interruption of an otherwise continuous process of generating pleasurable sensations. Most importantly, the partners have learned that they do not have to reach orgasm simultaneously or in every sexual encounter. An occasional lack of orgasm need not diminish their happiness. After all, making love is neither a battle nor an athletic competition. Notions of success or achievement have no place in a happy sexual relationship.