|
NEW FAMILY MODELS
The disadvantages of the modern nuclear family have prompted many of its critics to look for alternatives. Some reformers want a return to the traditional extended family as it existed before the Industrial Revolution. However, it is unclear how this family type could be reconstituted under present conditions. Furthermore, as we have seen, it also had some very serious shortcomings. It certainly could not accommodate the demands for privacy and individual freedom to which we now feel entitled. On the other hand, slightly extended nuclear families can still be created individually without any drastic social reforms. Yet hardly anyone is convinced that such sporadic minor improvements would make much difference. The real problem seems to lie deeper. Many people feel that their best potential will never be realized unless there is a radical transformation of society as a whole. They believe that a "new man" and a "new woman" have to be created before a better family system can be devised. In their view, the prevailing social order preconditions everyone against achieving true happiness. They find human nature itself deformed by our present unhealthy civilization and therefore demand a "fresh start" and a complete break with tradition. This willingness to experiment is not entirely new, but in the upheavals of recent human history it has become much more widespread than it was before. Thus, today a number of alternative family models are being tried in various parts of the country and the world. The following two examples may hint at the possibilities.
The Kibbutz
The kibbutz (Hebrew; "group"; plural: kibbutzim) is a form of agricultural collective settlement now common in Israel. The members work for the collective and own everything in common. Married couples have their own living quarters, but take their meals in the common dining room. All children live together in a common "children's house". They are supervised and educated by trained personnel, but may visit their parents for a few hours in the evening. Thus, there is some room for a special relationship between them. However, since even the unmarried adults work for the support of the children and thus consider them "their own", there is a new, wider sense of family in a kibbutz than may be found in the outside world. Marriages are monogamous. They are officially recognized by the granting of a separate, shared room to a young couple. Sexual intercourse between unmarried young people is tolerated, but sooner or later tends to lead to permanent unions. Marriage partners are usually brought in from the outside. Women keep their maiden name and remain (or become) individual members of the kibbutz in their own right.
As can be seen, in this social arrangement there are no families in the traditional sense, because parents and children do not live together. Furthermore, the parents neither work for themselves, nor for each other, nor for their own offspring or other relatives. Instead, work, education, and all social services are shared collectively "from each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs". The kibbutz owes its creation to the idealism of Israeli settlers who wanted to build a more humane society. However, it has sometimes proved difficult to keep this idealism alive with growing prosperity. Moreover, the experiment has not always appealed to everyone, even in Israel. So far, it has not been widely copied in other countries.
The "Commune"
Today the word "commune" is often used for a variety of communal households from "hippie farms" to certain practical arrangements of the urban middle class which tries to reduce the cost of living. After all, it takes nothing more than common sense to see that housing, cooking, washing, sewing, gardening, shopping, child care, etc. are cheaper when provided collectively for several combined nuclear families. Therefore, some such families have begun to pool some of their resources in order to save money. Their "commune" may involve nothing more than a shared house or compound and a more effective use of appliances. However, there are also more radical solutions. Especially in the last decade a number of young, "alienated" people have "dropped out" of society and established an alternative lifestyle living "communally" in the country or in certain city neighborhoods. In America, such movements toward a more "natural" way of living have a long, and sometimes impressive history. At the present time, American "radical" communes still appear in a great variety of forms, depending on the particular aims of their founders. Some are based on strict religious beliefs, others are more secular and hedonistic. Some involve formal monogamous marriages, others practice some type of improvised polygamy or group marriage. Some parents send their children to school, others try to educate them themselves. Some communes practice collective ownership and are economically self-sufficient, others depend on outside income, such as welfare, food stamps, or financial support from benefactors. Some communes have survived for years in relative stability, others have broken up or are lingering on miserably as a warning example to the naïve.
In view of this highly varied picture, it is very difficult to come to any firm conclusions about the contemporary commune. Undoubtedly, in many cases it answers a genuine human need that cannot be fulfilled in the "normal" family as we know it today. The failure of many communes says nothing against their often noble intent. In sum, communal experiments should be expected to continue well into the future. It is always possible that one day some such experiments will provide valuable alternatives that can be successfully copied on a larger scale.
|
