background image
89
problems. Therapists are not insulated from these societal
messages, so it can be hard to find a nonjudgmental one.
Yet it can be done. If you are involved in a (real-world or
on-line) community of others whose sexuality is similar
to yours, try asking them first. Often, they will know
of therapists who are open to people with your sexual
concerns or lifestyle or behavior; if you're lucky, one or
two of them will have actual experience with a particular
therapist, and can tell you whether they had a good
experience with her.
The Resource Guide in this book can also help
guide you toward listings of therapists who consider
themselves to be open to working with people of non-
traditional sexualities. Some therapists advertise in gay/
lesbian newspapers or in the newsletters of alternative
sexuality support groups, but not all who do so are
nonjudgmental.
If none of these work out for you, you'll just have to
let your fingers do the walking. Most therapists should
be happy to spend a few minutes with you, in person or
on the telephone, so that you can get an idea of their
approach and personality.