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occurring, speak to the physician again. Please don't insist
that the staff member be publicly rebuked or fired.
Handling serious problems. If your health care
practitioner does something really terrible ­ makes an
overt advance to you, breaches your confidentiality,
provides clearly substandard care ­ then it is time for
direct action.
The first thing to remember under such circumstances
is that you are not helpless. Your insurance company, your
HMO, your hospital ­ the whole complex of people and
businesses set up to take care of your health ­ are in the
business of satisfying you. No doctor wants a reputation as
someone who gives substandard care, even to members of
sexual minorities. And if your insurance company receives
several complaints about a particular practitioner, some
action will follow.
So ­ if you are not happy with the care you are
receiving, there are things you can do to help ensure that
you'll get better care next time, and that the person who
failed to take good care of you will be confronted with
her error.
The first thing to do is to talk to the health care
practitioner herself. Make an appointment to have this
conversation, paying the copayment if she insists. Sit
down with her and describe your perception of what
happened, and your feelings about it: "Doctor, during
our appointment last week, when I was trying to tell you
about my recurring vaginal infection, you said that you
thought it was sick that I had multiple sexual partners.
That comment made me angry and I felt inappropriately
judged. I am worried that you will not be able to provide