want her first impression to be "that man who made me
feel really uncomfortable" or worse. This first "coming-
out" appointment may not be the best time to discuss
the specific safety measures that you use, but you should
probably find a time to talk about them during subsequent
appointments.
If she wants more information about why you do such
things, a simple "because I enjoy it" should suffice; there
are no real answers to "why" questions. She does not need
to know the heartfelt details of your love for your three
spouses or the specific color and design of your favorite
high heels; she just needs to know what you're doing that
could have ramifications to your health.
good time for an assertive attitude: "That sounded very
judgmental; are you upset about what I do?" Your health
care practitioner is there to help you; she doesn't get to
make you feel uncomfortable.
seen before are likely to ask questions. Some of these
questions may be clueless, just like the ones you've been
asked elsewhere in the straight world. If you feel like
answering them, go ahead but be sure to make it clear
that you're speaking for yourself only and not for anyone
else who shares your sexual kinks; it's not a good idea to
let your doctor generalize what she's learned about you
to all the other sexual minority members in the world.