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You may be afraid that the practitioner will judge

you or lecture you or just give you a funny look. Or you
may be afraid of worse: that he will report you to the
police, or your insurance company, or your employer,
or your family. Most health care practitioners take their
confidentiality obligations very seriously, and will not
share any information unnecessarily. Your job is to help
make sure that nobody feels it necessary to share that
information and you can help do that by coming out
to your physician carefully, sanely and with accurate
information.

Imagine the difference, for the average physician,

between:

"My lover and I are into cock & ball torture, and I

don't want to deny him anything. I couldn't stand it if
he left me or found someone else, but I'm afraid that
he'll do something so extreme that it will injure me
permanently."

And: "I love it when my lover very roughly stimulates

my genitals. Nevertheless, I am concerned about the long-
term effects of this behavior."

How to talk about sex. For almost everybody, talking

about sex is hard, difficult, uncomfortable, unpleasant,
upsetting, and not the way you really want to spend your
time.

I've been a sex educator for decades and a doctor

for quite a few years, and even I often find it difficult
to talk about sex not because I am embarrassed, but
because the words often do not exist with which to
ask nonjudgmental questions. Sometimes people are