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questions. You can start off with a statement like "I have
not told you about all the sexual activities in which I
engage. I want to be honest with you, and I have some
medical questions about how these activities can impact
my health." If you notice your doctor squirming, or a
change in the way she interacts with you, it is time to
consider changing doctors.

If the direct approach is too confrontational for you,

you can start by asking third party questions: "I have a
friend who is involved in kinky sex and needs a doctor.
How open are you about inviting such people into your
practice?"

If you are seeking a new physician, an interview is

appropriate. Most ethical health care practitioners should
be willing to give you five minutes for a short interview.
I do not charge for this consultation, but other physicians
feel that a token payment is important. Do be sensitive to
the reality that most health care practitioners must care
for dozens of patients a day and are chronically rushed
please keep it brief, accept a telephone interview if it's
offered, and realize that the appointment may need to
be at the convenience of the practitioner.

Do not try to get medical advice during this interview;

that's not its purpose. It's OK to ask if the doctor has had
much experience treating HIV or lupus or what-have-
you (or what-you-have), but asking "what do you think
these red bumps are?" during an informational interview
is stealing medical advice. In addition, a physician who
diagnoses without a history and careful examination is
not someone you want taking care of you.