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9
There are important differences among physicians.
Some are more aggressive in treating certain problems.
Some emphasize lifestyle changes while others emphasize
medication. Some do more preventive medicine than
others. Personalities are different, some more formal,
others more personal. Finding someone who is a good
match for you in these qualities can be just as important
as finding someone open to your sexual lifestyle and
behaviors.
Let's keep in mind here that the number-one quality
you want in someone who will be taking care of your
health is competence. The vast majority of physicians
know the basics of medicine and when they need to refer
patients to another doctor because a problem is outside
their own expertise. Competence is that, and much more.
It is the ability to listen to you attentively and respectfully.
It is also the ability to impart information in a way you
can hear it, answer your questions, and invoke a sense
of trust. If you actually trust what she says and make a
good-faith effort to follow her instructions, so much the
better. If you feel that you can go back to her when the
first intervention didn't work to make a second attempt,
that's better yet.
It doesn't matter how friendly and nonjudgmental
she is, if she's a bad doctor. Remember, this isn't just
someone who writes out your antibiotic prescription when
you have a bladder infection or gonorrhea; it's the person
who will act as your intermediary with the entire health
care world if anything serious ever happens to you. If you
are unfortunate enough to be admitted to a hospital,
you can't get a drink of water or an aspirin without your
doctor's permission. She is the person who picks your