Page 21

hit the Internet last night? Remember, you're looking for
medical care, not a life partner.

I've seen sexual minority patients pass up excellent,

nonjudgmental physicians for all the wrong reasons.
During medical school, I did a stint working in a clinic
under the supervision of a yarmulke-clad orthodox Jewish
physician. I, and many of his prospective patients, assumed
that he would be very conservative on sexual matters. In
fact, he turned out to be extremely open-minded and
a highly skilled physician yet I saw members of sexual
minorities flatly refuse to see him because they assumed
that he would be judgmental, or that they just wouldn't
feel comfortable. It was their loss.

You don't want to be judged by your gender, age,

orientation, the way you dress or the way you look, and
rightfully so. So why judge others the same way? It's
good not just ethically, but from a standpoint of getting
the best possible health care to give your potential
practitioner the same break you ask for yourself.

Yet, clearly, not every health care practitioner is

going to be a good choice for you. So in the absence of
external cues such as gender or style of dress, how can
you choose someone who will take good care of you and
your sexuality?

What do you want? A good place to begin is by

determining exactly what you want from your health care
practitioner. We'd all love to be surrounded by people
who think what we do is fabulous, who will never lecture
us or disagree with us, and who will never act shocked or
uncomfortable no matter how outrageous we are. This is
probably neither a worthwhile nor an achievable goal.