teach safe use of these toys. There are also books and
magazines available containing such information.
sex together (a gay man with a lesbian, for example). S/M
partners engage in negotiation, the process of agreeing
on what will constitute the specifics of their S/M scene
(interaction). They decide upon a safeword (a word or
gesture that will stop the scene), and mutually define the
limits (activities not to be included in the scene).
Players who take the receptive role are called submissive,
sub, subbie, bottom, masochist, boy or girl, and slave. (In
some S/M interactions, it may not be immediately obvious
which partner identifies as the active partner and which as
the receptive partner, although the practitioner may feel
strongly about the label.) Switches can take either role.
Within the S/M community, there is often intense debate
concerning the distinctions between these terms; it is not
uncommon to hear someone say "I am a masochist, I will
be submissive if my partner enjoys it, but I am no one's
slave."
instrument with several strands of leather or other
material, to strike the partner. A single-tail is a braided
implement that tapers to a narrow end. The most common
place to strike is the buttocks, but thighs, shoulders, and
genitals are also common. Marking (leaving bruises, welts,
or generalized redness) is common, but not mandatory.