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05
outside sexual minority communities. It is worth noting,
however, that many such terms ­ for example, the word
cunt ­ do not carry the pejorative implications in these
communities that they do in the outside world.
If you're not used to this sort of language, it can be
difficult not to react negatively when you hear words you've
always been taught are insulting or obscene. Volunteers
on one sex information support line are actually drilled
on saying and hearing blunt sexual language so that they
get used to it. You might consider doing something similar
if language is a problem for you.
People who eroticize physical and/or psychological
pain (sometimes called intensity or erotic intensity) are
called players and are into S/M (aka BDSM, sadomasochism,
dominance and submission or D/S, leather, and bondage
and discipline
or B/D). Some people attempt to live this
as a lifestyle, 24/7 (24 hours a day, 7 days a week) or
TPE (total power exchange). Many of these utilize slave
contracts
to spell out the rights and obligations of each
partner in the relationship; although these contracts have
no legal status, they often have significant moral weight.
Other players only do S/M during sexual interactions;
they do EPE (erotic power exchange) or keep it in the
bedroom.
Players usually adhere to the SSC (safe, sane
and consensual) creed. A play party is a social gathering
where S/M activities take place; the party space (venue)
usually has equipment (large devices to which a partner
can be secured). The players usually bring their own toys
(handcuffs, whips, canes, etc.).
Toys are typically designed to provide sensory
stimulation with minimum physical damage, and can thus
help prevent many injuries. However, they can be misused.